self deception in this realistic world.

do i deceive myself to make myself feel better? or do i instinctively knowing that i'm deceiving myself? or have i, unknowingly, gotten over already.

if you ask me, seriosuly, i dont have any answer back in my head. but i know that, more imptly, i should enjoy as much as i could now. and focus on studies, to get a good career that allows me to feed my family, only then will you be called a man. to get my dream car, the only thing i can do is work hard. let nature takes it course for the right girl appear at the right time. humans are greedy, that's why i'm kicking shadows and whining like a child when i was taken away from blessing and happiness. therefore i'm now appreciating and counting every single blessing you showered on me. it feel nice and sweet that's why i wanted it to keep coming. but that i should be contented, instead of dwelling in the thoughts of greediness. maybe it's better now. if one day this blessing come back, i will embrace it tightly. and no matter what, i wont let go.

my left eye is playing on me. i dunno why this pain and uncomfortness. it makes my day so irritated and moodless. i hate you left eye, it's not the 1st or 2nd time. did i ill-treated you or that you're had seen too much ugly things in this world. are u kind of throwing temper in absurd or that you are having your periods. whatever the reason, if u gimme problems again. believe me, i would dig u out and munch it like fishball. alright i know i'm kinda crazy here.

it feel better when i meet with my gw. some kind of special aura you got. we went secret dating and after that we headed home to change cause ppl jio bball. it was fun, tiring and nonsensical night of bball. the art of playing bball. the swee swee pass that create opportunities to score, and that qie-ing of ppl and lay out swee sweely. also the usage of strength and speed sweely swee.

the night chat until mid night, digging out old funny stories back in school. and now that in their classes, seems like each class contains a super-duper-'pretty' girl with cannot-be-described funny and interesting character. therefore i feel abit blessed now that my course mates isnt that bad afterall, and that i have a wide range of variety since the the vast amount of girls.

school

we were all brought to goodrich and stile today. at goodrich, we were introduced the different wallcoverings, floorings and carpets by their presentation. they gave shu hua a roll of wallcovering as prize, for she answer 'taste' when the speaker ask for 3 words, which nick answered the other 2 words and got nothing lol. that is more interesting then going to stile to see stones. listening to the speaker saying the different types of stones, i went stoning too. it was boring there. and anita keep going "hey hey you you" all day, not feeling tired.